Why Karmistry?

by Peggy Sue Skipper

     I was recently on a road trip to Arkansas with three of my friends. Now, I just love road trips and this one was a real adventure because we actually camped out for two days. This was only my second camping experience and thankfully it didn’t rain the entire time. In fact, we had magnificent weather which was much warmer than had been predicted for the area. We all wound up seeing the same clothes often because all cold weather clothing we brought was just too warm—in fact, I could have left three quarters of what I packed at home. The road trip, weather, and clothing dilemma have absolutely nothing to do with this story except the idea for the story was born in a philosophical discussion with one of my fellow adventurers. How does life get any better than a road trip with good friends who will discuss philosophy?

     Cathy and I were discussing Karma in general and how most people who know what it is still don’t always realize that everything they think, do and say affects their Karma. I call it the Boomerang Theory of Life—what you throw out there you get back, the good, bad and indifferent. That’s my take on it anyway. We were also discussing how certain people seem to have unexplainable chemistry—either negative or positive—and what a curiosity some of those pairings (or even groupings) can be.

     During this discussion Cathy got a bit tongue-tied and came out with “Karmastry” which I quickly latched onto as a potential new buzz word to explain the phenomenon of people clicking right away or being repelled by each other in short order. Perhaps they are experiencing Karmastry—chemistry induced by Karma. What a great “snigglet” for those of you who remember that term and for those that don’t: a snigglet is a term that should be a word but isn’t.

     I’ve met very few people who haven’t had a Karmastry connection at some point in their lives. Of course the most intense are the romantic ones, but that certainly isn’t the only kind of relationship where Karmastry can apply. Have you ever met a friend’s second spouse only to think, “Wow, this one is just like the last one!” Happens all the time. Then there’s the line I have heard from so many clients in one fashion or another, “I should have stayed with my first spouse because this one turned out to be just the same!” 

     Have you ever had a long term friend who suddenly left your life for no apparent reason—or due to some event that earlier in the relationship would have barely made a ripple? Most of us have, and perhaps whatever Karma induced chemistry was between you, simply ran its course. One or the other of you (or perhaps both) may have fulfilled that Karmic cycle. The way I see it, if one party had not completed their cycle, a new person would show up in their lives to replace the one that went away and the cycle would begin again.

     Let me give you a common example that I have seen time and again with clients. Two women are long term friends and one feels used and abused by the relationship. Something is out of whack but both parties had a hand in getting it to that point. Most of us are primarily givers or receivers and the best relationship pairs a predominant giver with a predominant receiver and that works for everyone involved unless the taking and giving get too far off the delicate balance to make the relationship healthy. When that happens the Karmic Lesson is generally for the giver to learn to set better boundaries in giving and/or the receiver must learn to be more sensitive to other’s needs. Of course there are a multitude of variations on this theme, but the long and short of it is that both parties have something to learn and teach each other.

     The degree to which they can bring the balance back into the relationship is dependent on how well they have learned their giving or receiving lesson.

     In this example if the predominant giver begins setting boundaries and the receiver does not respect those boundaries (which can feel to them like a sudden and confusing personality change in their friend!) the relationship will probably end. On the other hand, if the receiver acknowledges the boundaries, the friendship can get back on track and be healthier for the changes.

     What we attract has much to do with what we need to look at in the mirror. The internal mirror, that is. Now that can get just downright uncomfortable. All of this goes a long way toward explaining why people repeat relationships over and over again. Most human beings do the repeat thing when it comes to relationships and they do it as many times as is necessary to finish the cycle, get the lesson and grow. There is no end to the cycle or “getting the lesson” without internal change.
 
     If we are lucky we have a real “ah-ha” moment and the required internal shift becomes clear as day. Generally the process is a bit slower though, and we get pieces of the lesson from relationship to relationship until all the pieces finally fit together. Pretty much short of near-death experience that’s the way we learn and grow: bit by bit, relationship by relationship. That’s what makes the aging process worthwhile—the experience we gain and the wisdom we acquire along the way. Being young is about making choices that we would never make once we are older and wiser, or at least not in the same extreme degrees.

     Of course, the process doesn’t stop for most of us—as we learn one lesson another takes its place and I have found that with many people the most difficult lesson is learning to receive. Karmastry isn’t just about looking at the challenging sides of ourselves but also about embracing the greatness within. People can come in to help us achieve more than we ever dared to dream and that can be Karmastry as well—testing our willingness to be the brightest version of ourselves.

     What if…with everyone you meet you just assume Karmastry is at work? How differently would you act or react? How much more would you pay attention? And, in the long run would it really make a difference? That would be an interesting exercise for you introspective readers out there, and I would appreciate hearing any good stories that come from paying attention!

     Of course, all this is nothing new to most of our readers because it is really just manifesting the Law of One, cause and effect, etc. But, sometimes a new moniker can take an old concept and shine a new light of awareness on it. Karmastry. It certainly has a ring, doesn’t it?

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